Thursday, March 27, 2014

Recipe For The Perfect Cucumber Sandwich

A friend's post on Facebook reminded me of a recipe for the perfect cucumber sandwich. Follow these simple steps to sheer cucumber sandwich perfection.

You'll need
Two slices of wheat bread
A few leaves of lettuce, either iceberg or romaine; the latter preferable if possible
8 discs of sliced cucumber, 1/4" thick

  1. Place both slices of bread next to each other
  2. Place lettuce on one slice
  3. Place cucumber discs on other slice
  4. Place a few slices of tomato on lettuce side
  5. Place a slice of Swiss cheese on top of the tomatoes
  6. Place three slices of medium rare roast beef on the cheese
  7. Put either some mayo or horseradish-infused brown mustard on roast beef
  8. Remove cucumber discs and toss them out.
  9. Wait, don't waste food..give them to a hungry person, or a dog, or a vegan
  10. Place three slices of bacon on bread that used to have cucumbers on it.
  11. Bring sandwich together
  12. Place sandwich on plate
  13. Add a fist full of potato chips on the side
  14. Pour yourself 12 ounces of your favorite beer.
  15. Unless you've been really awesome, in which case make it a 16 ounce
  16. Aw, go on,m you've been good. Go on, make it a 16 ounce.
  17. Take sandwich and beer into living room and find something awesome on tv
  18. Now, where the bloody blue Hell is the remote?
  19. Whoops. There it is.
  20. Sorry
  21. Turn on tv, take a swig of beer, and enjoy your cucumber sandwich.