Friday, June 27, 2014

Now, Wait Just A Damn Minute!

So I'm walking through the supermarket recently, when suddenly it hit me from out of the blue:

Why on Earth do the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles wear masks!?

I mean, think of it. You wear a mask in order to conceal your identity, right? A mask conceals your facial features so that, when you remove it, you can simply blend in with everyone else, right? It prevents you from being otherwise recognized. No one knows who you are; you could be anyone behind that mask.

We're talking here about a quartet of human-sized, upright-walking, sentient TURTLES, for crying out loud! How many OTHER human-sized, upright-walking, sentient turtles are running around that these four can blend in with and be mistaken for?

It's like, "Hey, look, there's the ninja turtles, without their masks!" "No, man, we can't be sure! After all, we've never actually seen them without their masks on!" Yeah, clearly they could be four OTHER talking, man-sized turtles.

And considering that most masks hinder your field of vision to one extent or another, they end up being an unnecessary and dangerous accessory.

And don't tell me they wear the masks in order for us to tell them apart.  Each one wields a different, unique weapon. Rigoletto wields the twin salad forks, Dumbo uses a chunk of wood, Libido has a sharp pointy weapon, and Monsanto uses some kind of bondage chains and sticks thing.

Besides, ninjas didn't wear masks; they blended in with everyone else by means of disguise.

Stupid frickin' turtles....