Thursday, April 18, 2013

The Return of the Terror

Ok, so I've been away for an unconscionably long time. I promise to start blogging on a more semi-regular basis.

In the meantime, here's something I posted on Facebook that a lot of people really seemed to dig. I'm copying it verbatim, so just pretend it's early March.

And there will be more content coming. Promise!
OK, so I turned 54 today. I've had a whiskey and ginger ale, and a beer, plus some awesome Maplewood delivery (our fave local pizza/sub joint), and now I'm feeling pleasantly full and buzzed, so now I have some things to say. Edit function: disabled.

First of all, thank you all for the birthday wishes. Seriously. You folks rock.

Secondly, I am here to tell all of you who are still on the other, younger side of the 50 year mark, that yes, there's hope. You don't need to slow down, you don't need to change. There's a difference between being childish and being child-like, and I tell you, keep that sense of wonder, that sense of fun. Keep on gaming, keep on rocking, keep on dressing up as a zombie and shamble down Main Street. Keep on roping your wife into a rousing session of Viking Raider Meets Helpless Peasant Girl. Keep reading comics. Keep watching cartoons.

Don't fight that giddy, funky sense of excitement at Christmas, or that chill that goes up your spine when you see or hear something moving. Cry at the end of It's A Wonderful Life, or when Aslan is sacrificed on the stone table, because you know everything is going to turn out fine. Get scared at a horror movie. Re-read the Harry Potter books. Put on your best leather jacket and pogo to the Ramones "I Wanna Be Sedated".

Don't let ANYone tell you that you're supposed to have outgrown these things. These people have just grown calcified and boring, and are resenting the fact that you haven't done so yet. Piss them off by still acting like a kid. Refuse to take part in their Premature Burial, those Poe fools....

Here's a secret to staying young: don't worry about growing old. Consider yourself immune, above the laws of time and space. And for a while, longer than the average person can do so, you WILL be immune.

As long as you're fulfilling your obligations to your family, to God and country, to whoever else relies on you to do things, the rest is gravy. This is YOUR time. Go nuts. Have fun. Be a kid, but don't be a spoiled brat.

And here's something else. Whenever you marginalize people into a collective, whether it's "those gays", or "those Christians", or "those Liberals", or "those immigrants", or "those Republicans", or any of the myriad "those's" out there, it becomes easier to consider them anything other than what they really are: fellow flawed travelers on this deranged spinning globe, all playing a part in this scary, amazing, stupid, awesome thing we call Life, people with feelings, hopes, dreams, likes, weaknesses.

Don't put people in boxes. Don't put yourself in a box either, for that matter. Enjoy life. Don't be an ass. Grow older, but don't grow old.

That's it for now....

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