Hawkhaven Pathfinder Campaign #4: Dead Man's Quest Recap 5 and 6

Deadman’s Quest Chapter 4: “Azan knows all…about dirt!!!”

December 1^st-4th, 316 P.E.(May 30^th, 2015)

Roll Call: Melora, Izanami, Azarus, Gerik, Ragnar, Gaspar, Sassha

It is a crisp morning in Chessex when the party meets up for breakfast in the inn. At last, the group has all four pieces needed to open the way further into the dungeon, so they travel through the hills. They arrive without any interruption and use the silver awl to open the way to the much older portion of the complex. In they go!

The first thing they see is a corridor decorated with a fresco depicting a priestly type reading from a black scroll, staring at the night sky which is filled with constellation forms of many deities. As the group admires this artwork, they hear the chattering of teeth, then see multiple pairs of beady red eyes reflecting off Gaspar’s light source indicating a whole bunch of hungry vermin. Dire rats, to be exact.

Azarus gets into position while Gerik rages, charges, and slips on a sheet of ice that Melora produced on the ground. (Cue the slide-whistle). The rats, now seeing an easy target, go right for the prone barbarian. The rest of the rats charge towards the remainder of the party. Azarus, Sasha, Izanami, and Ragnar start killing off rats efficiently. Gaspar casts Sanctuary on himself, walks onto the ice sheet, and promptly falls down, then suffers a critical hit from a dire rat. (More slide-whistle, please.)

Gerik, Ragnar, and Melora keep killing rats, while Gaspar heals himself and stands up. The rest of the rats run away via small holes set into the bottom of the wall, leaving the carcasses of 21 of their comrades.

(The rats may be gone, but their influence will linger on. You'll see...)

The group moves further down the hallway to a door without a lock and two alcoves to the

Slogan: "More stupid monsters included
than in any other TSR product"

north and south, each with a large statue of a winged woman in flowing robes holding a sword aloft. Each alcove also has smaller statues of different varieties of dragons, scattered all over the floor, metallic types on one side, chromatic on the other. Gaspar and Izanami check out the two statues, which come to life and attack the party.

(One of the only monsters from the original Fiend Folio that was worth a damn. The Caryatid Columns, ladies and gentlemen!)

Ragnar and Gerik hit the columns, but discover that their weapons are taking damage due to hitting solid stone. Azarus takes the white dragon statue collected earlier and puts it into one of the inlets in the alcove. Melora takes her entire turn to gather up the metallic dragon statues and put them in the inlets of the northern alcove, which emits a clicking sound when she finishes. Gaspar uses one of his time revelations to flicker in and out of time space (like a Blur spell) and gets into flanking position with Ragnar, the latter who suffers a nasty hit.

(I just LOVE enemies whose very skin causes adventurers' weapons to break, don't you?)

Ragnar, Sasha, Gerik, and Izanami finish off the battle with the columns. Azarus collects all of the chromatic dragon statues and puts them in the inlets of the southern alcove, which engages the last lock and opens the door at the end of the corridor while Gaspar heals Ragnar.

The group moves into the next room, adorned with several statues. They are depictions of several gods and goddesses of the world’s pantheon, specifically Adonai, Okham, Stentor, Talludrah, Athena, Pahns, and Duma, and the words "Honor the one that is different". After some discussion about each of the deities in question, Ragnar notices that only one of them is chaotic aligned. Given his background, he gives a slight nod to the statue of Duma which unlocks a secret door across the room.

(Those are the deities of, respectively, Law and Good, Common Sense and Directness, Law and Order, Honor and Nobility, everyone knows who Athena is, Intelligence and Knowledge, and Freedom, Good, and Liberty.

Sasha takes point in the next corridor and begins to search for anything out of the ordinary. She finds a pressure plate, but sets off the trap in an attempt to disarm it. The trap flings out caltrops on the floor in front of her. The group ends up collecting the caltrops and moving along. The group finds a statue with empty hands. Azarus places the cup in the hands and another door opens into a dark room with a very high ceiling.

Gaspar casts Light on Ragnar’s hammer, which he throws into the darkness revealing a ceiling 100 feet up full of webs and four spiders with a red hourglass on their backs. Naturally, they begin to descend on the party.

(Creepy bastards. The spiders, that is, not the party)

The spiders reach the party and engage them. It’s a pitched, furious battle, with Melora taking a nasty bite but everyone managing to defeat the huge vermin. Ragnar and Izanami decide to climb one of the columns in order to get Ragnar’s hammer back. They find a few wrapped up victims of the spiders and find some nice items on them. Feeling like they’ve done enough for now, the group decides to leave, though they take some time to bury the victims of the spiders in a spot outside the complex.

(There are tales of the dead being grateful for having their remains properly buried. Fortunately, Jerry Garcia is nowhere to be found).

On the last hour of travel back to town, the group runs afoul of a wandering chimera. Here we go again! Gerik charges ahead and draws first blood. Izanami and Ragnar follow up but only the former manages a hit. Azarus attempts to blind the dragon head but fails. In retaliation, the chimera’s dragon head breathes fire on both Ragnar and Izanami. The former endures, but the latter goes up like a Roman candle.

Gaspar casts Stabilize on the dying Izanami. Gerik successfully intimidates the beast and he and Ragnar land some good shots on it. Sasha hits with a sneak attack to the point where the beast is now teetering on death’s door. Azarus runs up with his Grim Lantern in hand, casting Burning Hands for the killing blow. After copious amounts of healing, the group makes their way back to the inn safely.

F-I-L..T-H-F..E-V-E-R! Aw hell the song doesn't fit

The group wakes the morning of December 2^nd and Melora, Gaspar, and Azarus wake up with a pretty intense fever. After some investigation, the group realizes that the three contracted Filth Fever from the dire rats they fought before. After a little healing from the temple of Duma, the three recover. The group decides to spend the day in town and do some shopping and recover from more wounds, also giving the sick people a chance to rest up..

(Those dirty rats...literally and figuratively!)

On December 3^rd, the group goes back to the dungeon in the hills. They arrive at the room they fought the spiders and continue on down the stairs. They enter into a room full of books, and meet two creatures whose arms and torsos are human, heads with ram horns, and what looks to be a caterpillar like lower half. They are psychpomps, and they engage the party in some nice civilized discussion. In the course of these talks, the group finds out that the psychopomps, nicknamed Yin and Yang, are servants of true neutrality who guard the library.

(I just love that name...psychopomp. Neutral outsiders, and these ones in particular are scholars. Not looking for a fight unless one is brought to them.)

Once the chatting is over, the psychopomps allow the party to read any books in the library. Even better, time practically stands still, so they end up gaining some skills. Ying and Yang tell the group that one of the black scrolls does in fact exist somewhere in the dungeon and it’s guarded by the entity who built the complex. They also mention that the second scroll is located in Norgheim. The party moves on.

..not to mention Spam-loving Vikings!

(Norgheim...land of ice and snow, herring, mead, the Aesir, longships, magic hammers, Valkyries, frost giants, and Viking kittens)

Inside this room are two doors, one with dials, and one featureless. Also inside the room are two skeletons encrusted with gemstones. The things come to life and engage the party the moment they walk into the room.

(Don't you love constructs made to look like undead? I sure do!)

Azarus and Melora attempt undead-affecting spells and they flat-out don’t work, which helps the group figure out that these two creatures are actually constructs and not undead. (See?) While the major combatants engage the constructs, Melora explores the side room and finds an urn with runes etched on it, so she uncorks it. This results in Melora releasing an earth genie named Azan, who is the creator of the complex, and pleased to be finally free. Melora asks him to take care of the constructs, which he does in short order.

(I love role-playing genie-kind NPCs. They are so bombastic yet subservient, humble yet egotistical).

At this point, the group looks to the dials on the door. Gaspar asks Azan in what year he built this complex. Azan tells the party and they input the number on the dials, which unlocks the door. At this point, Azan warns that the group will have to deal with an earth elemental and the very walls themselves. After that, the party must reason with the ego of Deysin in order to gain the black scroll.

The group also learns that beyond the urn room is a temple to Oghma that is protected by two old enemies of Deysin that he killed and turned into mummies. The group decides to pre-emptively attack the mummies and establish a secure base of operations in the temple. The barbarians rage and charge a mummy, which causes both to animate and attack. Azarus is able to gain control of one of the mummies and commands it to attack its counterpart. Sasha is struck with paralyzing fear from the mummies, but Melora grabs her and drags her into the temple, which removes the fear.

(Gotta love the old "safe zone within the dungeon" trope)

Fred the Mummy...IF HE WAS A WHORRRE!

Azarus, Izanami, and Gaspar make their way into the temple and let the mummies duke it out. However, the barbarians continue to try hitting but don’t really connect. The commanded mummy, who is now named Fred, defeats the other mummy with a little help from the barbarians. Fred then goes into the other room and finishes off the skeleton constructs that had been sunk into the ground courtesy of Azan. With all enemies dealt with, the group decides to rest for the night before tackling the final part of the complex.

(Fred!?!?!?!?)

On the morning of December 4^th. the group makes their way past the door with the dials. They move into another room with even more dials, six of them, that have the letters of the alphabet on it. Melora spells out “Deysin,” on the dials and the door opens, revealing one of the black scrolls on a pedestal. Inscribed on a plate in front of it in Valgarese, “Be sure of your actions.” Ragnar grabs the scroll and another message appears on the doorway in the place: "The wheels are now in motion. To get the second, seek out the keeper of mystery who dwells where immortals and mortals mingle freely."

(Nice going, Melora. Failure to use the dials properly would've resulted in Earth Elemental carnage. As for the mysterious words, they are directing the party to seek out the oracle in the elven trade city of Alverene, where elves and non-elves mingle and do commerce.)

 The group takes the scroll with them and makes their way back to Chessex.

Deadman’s Quest Chapter 5: Welcome To Norgheim

December 5th-11th, 316 PE (June 27^th, 2015)

Roll Call: Melora, Gunnar, Tolg, Izanami, Azarus, Gerik, Gaspar

The group wakes on the morning of the 5^th in Chessex having finished completely exploring the dungeon in the hills and now having one of the black scrolls. Given the information gathered after gaining the first black scroll, the group rides to the elven trade city of Alvarene in search of an oracle who might point them in the right direction to the next black scroll. The party arrives in Alvarene by early evening, enjoying an incident-free trip.

When they arrive at the city, the party is greeted by a guard who helps them find the Oracle of Alvarene. The oracle pegs the group as fated individuals of some sort and leads them into the back of his establishment. Once there, the oracle has a vision and begins to spout forth a prophecy involving the black scrolls and a war that is coming. The group’s first stop based on the prophecy is to go to the country of Norgheim, to the legendary Graveyard of Dragons, specifically looking for the Tomb of the Ice Wyrm.

(Oracles are not the most common sight in elven cities, which is why finding him was so easy.)

Wait..a setting where elves aren't sadly fading away?
That hardly seems right!!!

The Oracle tells them of a quick way to Norgheim via a ghost stone, located in the heart of the kingdom of Hanael. Since non-elves are forbidden from walking in Hanael, he bestows on each party member an invisible mark that makes them elf-friends. Before they leave, they do a bit of shopping and in the midst of the shopping, meet up with their late-arriving friend Tolg. Once rested, they head out in the morning, December 6th.

(Elves in my world forbid non-elves from entering Hanael proper. Only if the non-elves are somehow given the status of elf-friend can they be allowed to travel unchallenged. That arrangement is most rare.)

After some uneventful travel through the elven forest kingdom for a day and a half, they arrive at the ghost stone, only to find a black cat calmly watching them. The cat speaks , asking the group why they are there. The surprised party replies with a phrase the oracle instructed them to use: the oracle knows the guardian’s secret and the oracle will reveal it to all, should the guardian of the stone hinder the party.

This prompts the guardian himself to appear, who happens to be the very much alive founder of the kingdom of Hanael, Lord-Archmage Noro Goldentree. He invites them into his home and asks their story before letting them use the ghost stone. The party explains their purpose, and when they finish, Noro adds that his people have experienced some odd manifestations of a magical plague, specifically certain maidens, and no one knows why. Some say it has to do with prophecies of the dead god of rot and disease and that the party may have some part to play in dealing with this ostensibly dead god. The group rests for the night under Noro's hospitality.

(Noro is the second character I ever rolled up, way back in 1978. I would play him several times a week until the mid-80's. When I "retired" from playing and focused solely on full-time DMing, he had led the elves of my world into the deep forests to re-establish the elven kingdom, the above-mentioned Hanael. Now, about 2080 years later, he has retired into the deepest woods, having faked his death, and lives alone with his familiar, the black cat named Midnight. Noro is a 25th level Fighter/25th level Wizard, Chaotic Good, and 2224 years old. Noro's grandson Ansalor is now king of Hanael.)

Apparently the oracle at Alverene knows of Noro's deception and has no compunctions about spilling his secret. Noro himself is of two minds. On one hand, he wants nothing more than to be left alone with his studies, his star-gazing, and his hobbies, enjoying retirement and waiting for death to take him someday. On the other hand, he rather misses the adventuring life, being as how he started out as an adventurer when he was a young lad of 150. Thus, he feels a kinship with this new generation and sort of wants to help them and watch their progress. This contradiction is a source of frustration, much to Midnight's amusement.)

               

The group rises the next morning, the 8th, ready to make their way to Norgheim via the ghost stone. Before they leave, Noro gives them a small wooden cube with Secure Shelter cast on it 12 times, and a few scrolls for the arcane casters (Azarus and Melora). When the group activates the power of the ancient stone, they are instantly transported into a bleak, hostile, cold environment. They begin traveling east towards their destination. As the group slogs onward, they eventually run afoul of a dozen frost wights.

(And so began one of THE worst bits of dice rolling I've don in years. Seriously. My dice SUCKED. These frost wights are terrifying things. Instead, they resembled the Keystone Kops if they were made out of Kleenex. Fortunately, I have a lot more chances of showing what these bad boys can really do!)

The wights engage the party but either badly miss or slip on some ice created by Melora. Meanwhile, Tolg channels positive energy to wear down the undead, Gerik, with his nice new great-axe, downs most of their number. Azarus controls two wights and makes them turn against their own, and some timely arrows from Gunnar downs a couple. Izanami kills one and Gaspar supports with spells as well as phasing one wight out of time and space. All in all, the group handily beats the wights, earning a few new magical items. After this, the group travels a bit longer and then rests for the night in the magical shelter that Noro provided them.

I dunno, I kinda like it here!

(Okay, let's stop here and get an idea of exactly how awful a place this dragon graveyard is, bad dice notwithstanding.  Picture if you will an elephant's graveyard, but remove the word "elephant" and place "evil cold-based draconic types" in its place. It's also huge, about 100 miles long and 50 miles at its widest point. Now, this has been the dying place of these monsters for at least 3,500 years, and that's a lot of dead evil dragons. This means the land has been soaking up all of those evil death essences like a sponge, so the entire area has the necromantic equivalent of constant low-level background radiation. It won't hurt or interfere with the player characters, but it has other effects.

Now, consider if you will how many unscrupulous, grave-robbing types out there hear the words "dead dragons", and think "easy treasure". So, year after year, dozens of opportunistic, greedy, unprincipled types go up there looking for all of that unguarded loot, and instead find death. Then that necromantic energy kicks in, and they all come back as frost wights.

But wait, there's more...

It's also freaking DECEMBER, so the temperature rarely gets above freezing. Even worse, the sun never makes it over the horizon, so you have perpetual darkness- no sunlight. Not so good for living creatures, totally awesome for undead.

As for any kind of civilization, that would be about a week's slog to the south, to the appropriately named Fort Heimdall, which guards Norgheim's northern frontier from incursions of white dragons, frost giants, and ice trolls. So, good luck finding a safe place to level up without undertaking that fun trek.

And oh yes, let's not forget the aforementioned living monsters that range around here, such as the white dragons, frost giants, and ice trolls.

Not to mention the tribes of gnolls in the area...

And the ogre clans...

This is going to be FUN!)

Morning comes and the group presses on. At around 10 am, a white dragon catches up with and engages the group. The group gets in a few good licks, but the dragon uses its breath weapon, downing Azarus and seriously wounding both Gerrik and Gunnar. The group throws itself at the dragon, landing some blows while Gaspar revives Azarus. The dragon advances to Gunnar and bites him, making him fall. Gaspar attempts to phase the dragon out of time and is successful in taking the dragon out of reality for a couple of rounds.

(I honestly never thought that Dibz' oracle would amount to much, but this character is consistently kicking ass. I'm impressed. And hey, the party's first dragon kill! Of course, it IS a white dragon, and they are the weakest of the lot).

The group use this handy respite to heal back up and get into position, pouncing back on the dragon when it reappears. Melora slows the dragon with a spell, which helps to limit its attacks and Gerrik gets in the final blow, felling the beast. The group harvests the scales of the dragon and press on, stopping for the night when it gets too late.

Yeah, kinda like this....

Unfortunately, while comfortably situated in their secure shelter, a frost-fallen mammoth (basically an undead elephant behemoth), makes a beeline straight for the group's camp.  Gunnar and Gerik are on guard duty, and they see this huge undead thing charging right for them. Gunnar goes to wake up the group while Gerik does a banzai charge, alone, making a beeline towards the undead locomotive. After a brief, furious fight, the mammoth was in fact driven off, courtesy of Melora making it fatigued, and Azarus doing a Chill Touch, causing it to flee in panic. The group was in no shape to press a pursuit. They went back into their shelter to tend to their wounds.

(Turns out I screwed up here. Since the Frostfallen Mammoth is undead, it should not have been fatigued nor frightened. Let's call it a case of "last encounter of the night, DM was up too early and is starting to fade" syndrome. In game, let's say that the party's robust resistance and the spells being thrown around managed to distract it enough that it decided to wander off and lick its wounds. No worries; there's plenty more Frostfallen Mammoths where this one came from! But for the future, remember: and spell that affects the mind or Fortitude will not work. My bad!)

When we begin next, it will be the morning of the 11th of December.

(And the biggest problem the party faces is: where can they find a safe place to rest up and gain experience points? Remember, the nearest civilized locale, Fort Heimdall, is at least a week's march away. Good luck with that.)

Hawkhaven Pathfinder Campaign #4: Dead Man's Quest, Recap 3 & 4

Here's the second installment of the recaps for my monthly Pathfinder game. Like the first installment, there are two sessions (Chapters) presented here. And yes, we're criminally behind, but the effort is being made to bring things current. Here's a link to the first installment. Once again, there will be italicized commentary from yours truly, explaining the how's, why's, and other asides.

This is our current update roster as it stands, including everyone who's played at least one session since the campaign began, regardless of current status.

Dead Man’s Quest Characters

Ragnar (Augie)- Male Human Bloodrager from Norgheim

Melora (Carol)-  Female Human Sorceress from Norgheim, with a frost-related bloodline

Grumm (Chappy)- Male Half-Orc Barbarian

Azarus (Chris)- Male Human Wizard from Lundarian Free Lands, with Necromancer specialty

Gunnar (Dave)- Male Human Slayer from Norgheim

Gaspar (Dibs)- Male Human Oracle from Lundarian Free Lands, with the Time mystery

Tolg (James)-  Male Hobgoblin Warpriest of Bellorum, God of War

Gerik  (John)- Male Tiefling Barbarian from Lundarian Free Lands

Sassha (Katie)- Female Catfolk Rogue (Urbane)

Pandar Goldsmith IV (Kevin)- Male Dwarf Fighter

Moribund (Matt)- Male Dwarf Inquisitor

Izanami (Noelle)- Female Human Monk from Nihon

Sverd(Seth)- Male Ravenfolk Rogue from Norgheim

Come on, bring it!

Chapter Three:  “Swear on Your Stupid God Because We Know When You’re Lying!!”

November 14^th-22^nd (March 21^st, 2015)

Roll Call: Sverd, Melora, Tolg, Izanami, Azarus, Gerik, Ragnar, Gunnar, Gaspar

The party wakes in the morning to a crisp day with some old party members reunited and one new party member, Gunnar the Norgheimer, joining up. With business concluded in the area, the group decides to continue following Glano’s map north to Chessex, and end up in the town of Newmarket by night fall.

(With the late-coming Gunnar joining in, we now have FOUR Norgheimers in the party. So yes, the equivalent of four Norsemen...Norsepersons...whatever. Bloody Vikings!)

Newmarket is a town located on the eastern edge of the Commonwealth, the land claimed by the Halflings as their sovereign land. Since they are uncomfortable with “big folk” freely tramping around said homeland, they constructed Newmarket as a trade town on their eastern border to conduct commerce with non-Halflings. 

(Something's that always bugged me about isolated cultures is how they manage to still have access to goods and resources that wouldn't be found within their borders, like a forest-based culture somehow having steel swords. In my world, the four known races or cultures that practice some degree of exclusion and isolation recognize that they can't be fully self-sufficient, and the solution is to set up trade cities or towns, where outsiders can mingle with the host race and conduct trade and commerce, under strict guidelines and supervision.

Thus, the Halfling's Commonwealth has Newmarket, the elven kingdom of Hanael has Alverene, the Catfolk of the southern Plainslands have Vrow, and the Amazons on the island-nation of Sarmatia have Thessanopia)

The group decides to get lodging at the Hay Loft, an inn suited for big folk. Once inside and rooms are secured, the group is having some food in the common room when they are approached by a Halfling who informs the party that mercenaries left over from the Warlord’s failed attempt at uniting Lundar are causing some trouble in the area. They’re reportedly holed up in an abandoned fort close by. a known ruin that people tend to avoid.

Both Gaspar and Sverd do a particularly effective Sense Motive and get the feeling that something is a bit off about this fellow. While the Halfling continues his story, Gaspar walks off to the bar and secretly casts a Detect Magic and finds that the stranger has some kind of illusion magic cast on him. Sverd continues to sense the motives of the Halfling and continues to find that basically he’s full of it. Azarus also takes a crack at a Detect Magic and finds that the illusion magic radiates from the stranger's hat, so he unexpectedly does a “Yoink!” courtesy of a convenient Mage Hand spell, revealing a human of short stature who, it happens, is a worshiper of Orcus, Demon Prince of the Undead and sometimes venerated as a god. The group quietly but firmly decides to take this matter outside.

After some Diplomacy attempts by Gaspar (And yes, this is where the Chapter title came from), the cultist of Orcus breaks down, admits his deception, and describes the cult’s defenses and numbers in exchange for his freedom. He also informs the group that Orcus is looking to gain a better foothold in the area. This cultist’s job was to find strong, good-aligned souls to lead into a trap to capture and sacrifice to Orcus. The group strips the cultist of his powerful possessions and sends him on his way with just a dagger. The group decides to investigate the area of the abandoned fort that very night.

(Yeah, I know I was taking a chance with this old saw, but sometimes it does still work. My group consists of smart, experienced players, so it's hard to catch them with a trick like this. Possible, but not probable. But the cultists have no way of knowing this, and it's worked for them before, so there you go...)

After about an hour and half walk east of Newmarket, the group finds the cultists in the ruined fort, chanting near an altar and a statue to Orcus. Getting the lay of the land, the group splits into two groups. One moves around the guard perimeter to trigger the ambush, while the other half of the party sneaks up on the clerics of Orcus, correctly guessing that the latter are the biggest threat.

The party’s muscle starts the attack, and immediately begins inflicting damage to the surprised cultists. Gerik is able to eliminate one of the clerics. At this point the low-grade cultists (masses of arrow-fodder), a couple of their meat-shields (brigands) and a war-priest (the actual leader of this cell) rush towards the battle. In response, Melora lays down a sheet of ice on the ground with her Rod of Ice. One of the clerics casts a spell on Ragnar that takes effect without notice of the rest of the party, including Ragnar himself. Gerik kills a mercenary and Sverd tags another enemy.

Most of the charging low-level cultists fall prey to Melora’s ice trap. The war-priest and one of the brigands manage to stay on their feet, but the remainder embarrassingly fails and ends up prone. Izanami attempts to take on the war-priest but also slips on the ice and falls prone. In response, the war-priest takes out a dagger and mace and lays into Izanami, knocking her out. The brigands start getting worn down by the party’s attacks, and the tide of the battle turns as the war-priest, now badly injured, morphs into a dire rat and scurries away from the battle. (Cloak of the Rat, don't fail me now!!!). The rest of the cultists begin getting up and scattering in all directions, though Melora scores a critical hit on one prone cultist and slays him on the ice. The group shatters the statue of Orcus, gathers up whatever loot they can salvage, and safely makes their way back to Newmarket for a good night’s sleep.

(And the party will NEVER have to worry about dealing with that War-Priest of Orcus again. Uh huh. Yup. Gone for good)

The following morning, the party heads back on the road, pressing on to Chessex. After several days’ travel, they finally arrive at the old, isolated mining and trade town, nestled at the foot of a range of desolate hills. They get rooms at an inn called the Hilltop.

(Not to be confused with Hilltop Steakhouse, a now-defunct chain of totally awesome steakhouses in the Boston area. Mmmmm....steak)

After a good night’s sleep, the party consults Glanor’s notes and maps and begins looking for this man named Deysin, who is mentioned as someone who knows about these Black Scrolls that are the whole point of this expedition.

Scattering throughout Chessex, the party comes to find out that Daysin in fact died hundreds of years ago, and is buried in the town’s main graveyard. By checking out his grave and solving a riddle hidden on his tombstone, the party discovers that they have to go ten miles due northwest of the town, smack dab in the hills, to find the site Daysin helped create, related to the scrolls’ whereabouts.

(Okay, a word about the name "Chessex". Yes, I lifted it from the name of a company that makes and sells dice and other gaming accessories. When I was designing my campaign world back in the late 70's, I was looking around for good names for the various towns and cities, and happen to see an issue of the Dragon, with an ad for Chessex. Aside here: Yes, once upon a time there was this magazine called "The Dragon", and it was printed on "paper", and it came out "monthly". No Internet and websites in those days, you soft, spoiled whippersnappers!.

Where was I? Oh yeah. Chessex. Anyways, I liked the sound of the name; it had that Anglo-centric fantasy vibe to it. It also sounds like a portmanteau of "Chess" and "Sex", but we won't go there; I get my kicks above the waistline, sunshine! So anyway, when I brought my old campaign out of mothballs a few decades later, Chessex made its return! But Chessex isn't the only town so named. You see, I also needed a good name for a coastal seaport/fishing town, and there was a Land's End shirt lying nearby, and..)

Well, anyway, off to the hills…

Here's what Spriggans look like in Small size

After about a four-hour hike, they find a hidden entryway on the slopes of Bramble Hill. Upon entering, they are greeted by a chained up watch dog, or specifically, a Devil Dog. Once they take care of that cretin, they press forward and find that the hill is riddled with a series of tunnels. Upon exploring the tunnels, they discover a bunch of ugly, misshapen gnomes who, upon seeing the party, consider them to be intruders and attack.

Then the gnomes Hulk out. Surprise!

That’s because they are called Spriggans, and they have two forms: a Small gnomish creature, and a Large hulking brute. That was quite a surprise for the party.

Spriggans, Large size

(Okay, I admit, I was hoping to have a situation where one of the expanded spriggan grabs a PC and recreates the Hulk-meets-Loki-meets-floor scene from the Avengers. Ah well. Puny adventurers!)

The party battles its way through most of the complex, taking on bands of angry spriggans. At one point they find a small chamber with a pair of captives, both of them of Fey blood. One is a Pooka called Zizi, the other a Pixie named Oddbark. Both faeries are chained to the walls with cold iron, which neutralizes their powers and abilities. They are prisoners of the spriggans, and are used for cruel games of torture. The party frees them, of course.

(The rules don't explicitly state that faeries lose their powers due to cold iron, but I thought it was keeping in the spirit of the rules. Besides, gaming rules, like the Pirate Code, are just guidelines!)

The group also finds a chamber positively stacked with treasure. Sverd is in his glory, as he “Oooo, shiny”s himself into a state of ecstatic bliss. Fortunately, he has enough presence of mind to deactivate the numerous poison traps before collecting the sweet, sweet loot.

(There's nothing like seeing a Ravenfolk, a race known for its attraction to sparkly things, go all google-eyed at seeing a large pile of gold items and jewelry. Seth played it perfectly).

With the prisoners freed, the treasure gained, and the spriggans killed, the party calls it a day and takes the four-hour trudge back to town. But there is one disturbing note: the spriggan complex’s size and room configuration speaks of a greater number of beings than actually encountered. Clearly, the remainder was off somewhere, and will eventually return.

               

               

Chapter Four:  Scavenger Hunt

November 14-22nd, 316 PE (April 18, 2015)

Roll Call: Azarus, Gerik, Ragnar, Sassha, Sverd, Tolg, Gunnar

Pictured here: Not the inn.
Foreground: Possible minotaur

While staying at the Hilltop, the group encounters Sassha, an urbane cat-folk rogue, who talks her way into the party.  Remembering that there are probably more spriggans to deal with, they head back to the lair in the northern hills. En route, they are ambushed by a pair of minotaurs looking for a quick meal. Ah, the joys of random encounters!

(In my world, Catfolk are divided into two main groups: Ferals, who are wild, barbarian types, and Urbanes, who are more civilized...like Puss In Boots. Fear me..if you dare! Rowrrr!)

Once the minotaurs are defeated, the group back-tracks to the lair in order to see if they have anything valuable. Unfortunately, this wasn’t the most successful pair of minotaurs out there, and the lair was fairly empty. But at least the group found a shelter which, if they ever end up getting stranded in the hills in the future, they can avail themselves of.

When the party reaches the spriggan lair, the group does in fact encounter the remaining seven spriggan, and battle it out with them. They also take care of the watch-spider that lurked on the ceiling of the spriggan’s “dungeon” where the fey folk had been chained up in the previous chapter.

Searching the place for anything of interest, the party discovers that the spriggans had salvaged an old stone slab, turning it into a table top. There is writing on the slab’s underside, an old form of Valgarese, which reads:

"Four keys there are you must get awl frozen wyrm iron-toothed circle drunkards companion"

Yes, no punctuation and little heed paid to good sentence structure. Someone remembers that Glano’s original notes mentioned something about Chessex being or having the key or keys. Since the party notices that the spriggans’ “throne room” has some sort of secret door that can’t be opened, but does have a small hole in it where something narrow and sharp presumably fits, they realize that they need to get back to town and find these so-called keys.

Oh yes, they also find a large cask of mead. A few PCs drink from it, only to realize that this mead is some kind of amped-up, powerful faerie mead that causes intoxication after only one mug. Fortunately, they make this discovery after the need for combat has long passed, though Gunnar does end up getting drunk then stuck with a whanger of a headache, while Sverd and Ragnar only got a little light-headed.

(I love drunk PCs. They can always be counted on to do colossally dumb things. Regrettably, the consumption of faerie mead happened in safe place. Rats!)

Sing now! Every little thing...gonna be awl right

After an uneventful trip back to town, the group fans out and checks different establishments. Once they realize they need an awl, they go to the smith in town and commission one. But while they are at the smith’s, they notice a cog nailed over the door, like a lucky horseshoe. A few questions to the dwarven smith reveal that his grandfather was the one who nailed it there for good luck, and that the cog was made of adamantine, which is rather unusual.

Hmmm…an “iron toothed circle”.

They ask to borrow it, and they get permission, provided that it’s returned intact, and if the group finds anything that a smithy would be interested in, he wants one first pick.

A trip to the various inns and taverns in Chessex reveals an elaborate goblet that’s been part of the décor of the Page of Cups for generations, while one of the inns has a small statuette of a white dragon gathering dust on a shelf.

One “drunkard’s companion” and “frozen wyrm” obtained.

(Remember the thing about John's character's dark background? That's where this really came into play. It must be stressed, John had no idea the party would end up in Chessex, and I had no idea his character came from Chessex. All I can say is, he had a bad childhood incident, which necessitated that he leave town FAST. Now he's back. Fortunately, he availed himself of the Hat of Disguise yoinked from that sneaky cultist of Orcus, and wears it when the party is hanging out in town. Did I happen to mention that I LOVE fleshed-out character backgrounds???)

Finally, at the city’s main trading emporium, the party finds a solid silver awl that’s been languishing in a display case for years. Not only does the group buy it, they now have knowledge of a good contact in town for the purposes of selling any loot they find.

(And thus I managed to accomplish a secondary purpose; by having the group fan out throughout Chessex and interact with the locals, they got a better idea of what the town is like and what the people have to offer in terms of goods and services)

When the group returns to the Hilltop, they now have all four keys that they require in order to get to whatever lies beyond the secret door.

(Time for your basic, classic dungeon crawl, people!)

"Free Doughnut Day" Memories

Dooooooughnutssssss!!!!

Yeah, I remember the Great Free Doughnut Riot of 2015. Remember it like it was only this morning, which in fact it was. Never seen the like, nor reckon I ever will again.

It was on Friday, June 5th, just a day before the anniversary of the D-Day invasion. The Disgusting Hideous Winter of 2014-2015 was still fresh in our minds, as was the Non-Existent Spring of 2015, followed by the Why The Hell Is The Furnace Kicking On In May, May.

Anyways, there I was, pulling up to our usual Dunkin Donuts, when I was greeted with a massive line of cars waiting at the Drive-Through. So I parked and decided to just go on in.

Tweren't much better inside. There were lines of desperate people, all eager to get a free lump of sugar and fat. It was chaos! The staff, dressed for some reason in tropical island gear such as leis and plastic grass skirts, were racing about like their tails were on fire, trying to serve the free doughnut-starved hordes.

Course, it beats me how tropical motifs are connected with a free doughnut. When you look at a picture of a Hawaiian beach, you don't suddenly think "Damn, I want a doughnut now!" Well, at least no right-thinking folk do, anyway.

But anyway, I managed to get to the front of the line, and ordered our usual, only to discover that they were out of veggie egg-white wraps! Have you ever heard the like? So I had to think fast, and ordered us some turkey sausage flat-breads instead.

Took them long enough. I swear, I was standing there long enough to actually grow the grass to make a real grass skirt. Fortunately, they finally got my sandwiches, and I left the shuffling masses of the Doughnut Dead behind me, and fled for the relative sanity of our workplace.

Well, if it was sanity I was looking for, I had gone to the wrong place. When my fellow co-workers saw my Dunkin Donuts bag, they rushed up to me with looks of joy, saying "DID YOU GET YOUR FREE DOUGHNUT!?"

When I explained that I really wasn't in a donut mood, they replied with "BUT IT'S FREE!!!!"

Guess some folks have set the bar pretty low when it comes to excitement. Now get off my lawn's website, or I'll text your parents!

New Patriots Charges: Malcolm Butler Is A Telepath

New charges have surfaced against the New England Patriots, already reeling from accusations of using deflated balls and being implicated in the ensuing Wells report. According to Seahawks' quarterback Russell Wilson, the only way that Patriots' rookie cornerback Malcolm Butler could have intercepted Wilson's throw was if Butler could read minds.

"Now that I have had some time to think of it, there's no way in Hell that Butler should have been able to intercept my throw," Wilson snarled in a recent interview with Sports Overreaction Desk. "It's clear to me that he's some kind of mind reader. The Patriots cheated by having some dude who reads minds in their lineup. Nothing that team does surprises me anymore!"

The charges have raised a huge outcry as millions of people have immediately accepted the accusation has absolutely true, despite the complete absence of a single iota of actual proof.

The NFL, which is currently butt-hurt over their serial ineptness in the area of player discipline, investigations, and punishments over the last couple of years, immediately commissioned crack investigator Theodore "Snack" Wells to investigate these charges, and compile a report that backs up the accusation.

Pictured: Respected attorney Wells

The Wells investigation into the new scandal, dubbed "Mentalgate", has resulted in Wells releasing the following statement:

"After a painstaking investigation in which we overlooked several facts that contradicted our preliminary findings, I can say that beyond the shadow of a doubt that Malcolm Butler may possibly be a mind reader. Maybe. Sort of.

"There is the possibility that Butler is either a mutant or a representative of the next stage of human evolution. We have subpoenaed a Professor Charles Xavier, and reached out to an organization called PsiCorps for possible corroboration.

"Although we have found no evidence to support the idea that Butler can read minds, at least no proof we could pull out of our asses on such short notice, we also found no evidence that he's not a mind reader. Thus, this investigation concludes that the New England Patriots may or may not have willfully or unintentionally acquired someone who may or may not be a mind reader, which may or may not have unfairly influenced the game, and....

"Oh, screw it. Let's just say they're guilty. They're all guilty. Everyone in the organization is guilty as a puppy sitting next to a smile pile of poo. Butler's guilty, Brady's guilty, Belichick's guilty, Kraft is guilty and his macaroni and cheese sucks!"

Punishment has yet to be determined, but it's certain to be a fair, even-handed disciplinary action that in no way could be possible deemed excessive.

With the New England Patriots now being blamed for everything from global warming to the formation of ISIS, the team has now overtaken the New York Yankees as the most hated professional sports team in America.

On a related note, numerous unverified reports have surfaced of a drunken, half-naked Alex "Slappy" Rodriguez running around Yankee Stadium yelling "Woo hoo!" and giving unwanted fist-bumps to unwilling bystanders.