Unearthing Old Memories Thanks To The Internet

The Internet, much like automobiles, firearms, organized religion, video cameras, and acid reflux, is one of those things that can be used for either the betterment or the detriment of society as we know it. Because of the Internet, with a little imagination and resourcefulness (and a lot of coffee) thrown in, you can track down just about anything or anyone, and that includes re-establishing links to good times in the past. This is one such success story.

Pictured here: A visual representation of my memory.
If you look close enough, you'll see
the Bitter Turnip Of My High School Memories

I picture my memory as a large pot of soup, boiling furiously on a stove. As the soup bubbles, various ingredients randomly rise to the top, bob along the surface for a few moments, then sink back down into the depths, only to be replaced by another ingredient.

Maybe it's a carrot. Or perhaps an underdone potato, or a glob of mustard. There's more gravy than grave to you...

...whoa, sorry about that. Had an Ebeneezer flashback there.

Now, where was I?

Oh yes. Vegetable soup. No! Wait! Memory!

I can be walking down a hall at work, perhaps mentally planning our household budget for the upcoming week, then suddenly a commercial jingle just comes out of nowhere.

"I can see the sunlight shining, over Narragansett Bay. So raise a glass my friend, and talk to me of home.."

Geez! Where the Hell did that come from. Narragansett Beer? Really?

Anyways, yes, memory. Funny thing, memory. Turns out that lots of my memories relate to music. Which brings me to the whole point of this blog entry. About time I got it, eh?

The debut album.

We all know of someone or something that never became as successful as they deserved. Maybe it was an athlete who got injured early in their career and never was able to fulfill their potential. Or maybe it was an actor who debuted in a real bomb, and was never able to shake that failure.

My poster child for "should have been" was (and still is, now that I think of it) an alternative rock group called Private Lightning. The mid 70's to mid 80's were an awesome time to be a music lover in New England. A lot of fantastic bands came out of the Boston area during that time, such as Aerosmith, the J, Geils Band, the eponymous Boston, the Cars, to name a few. They were heavily played and promoted by WBCN-FM, the Rock of Boston.

The alternative/new wave/indie/post-punk scene was particularly noteworthy, with bands like The Fools, Mission of Burma, the Atlantics, and the Neighborhoods.playing at places like the Rat, the Paradise, TT the Bears, and the Middle East. You could you also see some awesome out of state bands like this obscure little band called R.E.M. (my all-time favorite band ever in the history of Creation), when they toured the region.

But Private Lightning. Wow. They had six members, with the group's sole female playing, of all things, an electric violin. Hey maybe that's not such a big deal these days, but back in 1980? Holy crap! Innovative! Different! Awesome!

Private Lightning, dressed mostly in black,
the Official Color of 80's Alternative Bands (tm)

Anyways, they were extremely talented musicians who had their own distinctive sound and a rabid following (including yours truly). I saw them at the Paradise in 1980 and they truly rocked the place. They signed with A&M records, and released a debut album. Unfortunately, the technical quality of the album left a lot to be desired. A&M didn't support the band much after that, and all too soon, the band went the way of the dinosaur. A serious injustice. They should have enjoyed, at the very least, "The Cars" level of success.

Anyways, several years ago I managed to find many tracks of Private Lightning's album online, and put a bunch of them on my iPod. Their debut single, "Physical Speed", continues to not only be an awesome summer driving song, it's also very effective as part of a soundtrack for running to.

So one day a few months back, the thought suddenly popped into my head, from out of nowhere: "Hey, I wonder if I could find one or more of the band members online and write them a belated fan letter?" And so, I began my research.

There were two band members whose names I never forgot: the brother and sister pair, Paul and Patricia Van Ness. I remembered their names because back when I was at Park Street Church in Boston, the college fellowship had a pair of siblings also named Paul and Patty, and whose last name began with "Von". The coincidence of two Paul and Patty V's was, and continues to be, rather memorable. What can I say? I love patterns.

I started with Patricia, and found that she is still doing music, but most definitely not of the alternative rock kind (more like classical). There was an email link on her page, and I figured, "Why not?", Of course, I wanted to make sure I wasn't coming across as being some sort of creepy Internet stalker (as opposed to the Totally Okay Internet Stalker we hear so much about), so I simply wrote an uncharacteristically short letter, explaining that I was and still am a fan, still listened to the band's stuff, and hey, thanks for the memories.

A few days went by. Nothing.

A few weeks went by. Nothing.

As the one month mark got closer, I shrugged and figured that it was a lost cause. Ah well. Some folks prefer moving on from the past. Fair enough. Maybe I could try another band member or something. But then, Shazam! A few days before that month anniversary, Ms. Van Ness replied with a very gracious answer, and had forwarded my letter to Steve Keith, the band's bass player.

Then Steve emailed me, and sent me a link to his site, which has all of Private Lightning's stuff, and a whole slew of other tracks. And, in order to bring the social media experience full circle, he eventually sent me a connection request on LinkedIn. which naturally I accepted! Wow! I had actually made contact with two members of a band that I've enjoyed for over three decades!!

So, what have we learned here? First, that you can find (or rediscover) just about anything on the Internet. Second, if you're a singer, or a writer, or whatever other kind of artist, your work can and will endure even if you don't get that level of fame and recognition that others get. There will always be people out there whose day you will brighten even if it's just a little, courtesy of what you've created.

Check out Steve's site, particularly the Private Lightning section. Granted, some of the lyrics haven't aged well, but overall, you'll be impressed. "Physical Speed" is still an amazing song. This was a talented band that deserved way more success than they got.

Q: Are we not men?
A: We are The Cars!

As for what's next...hmmm...I wonder if Rick Ocasek is as easily found online?

Soup credits:  koufax73 / 123RF Stock Photo

Ch-Ch-Ch-Ch-Changes! Red Sox Version!

Although most of Red Sox Nation is still walking around with big dumb grins of delighted victory disbelief on their faces, we must turn our attention now to the off-season and the plethora of moves that the teams are conducting, particularly our beloved Red Sox.

I would be remiss if I didn't commentate on three significant Red Sox bits of news that hit teh Interwebz today. And what's that they say about news coming in threes?

1. Jarrod Saltalamacchia Rides Off Into Tropical Obscurity
Okay, so let's say you are a free agent who has two choices. One, you can take a two-year contract with your former team, a World Champion team, no less. Enthusiastically rabid fan base, great teammates, historical park, just an all-around awesome deal. But again, they won't offer you more than two years. Your other choice is THREE years on a pathetically bad National League team located in the state where America goes to die, with a fan base that doesn't approach anywhere near the level of enthusiasm of your former team's fans. What do you do?

Apparently, you take the crap team.

What a pity. I liked Salty. I also liked saying his name; it sort of rolled off your tongue. Saltalamacchia! Sort of like how the name Antonio Banderas does (although you must say it with a slightly Spanish lilt to it. That is, you use the lilt for Antonio, not Jarrod).

But think of it...Marlins are big salt-water fish. Saltalamacchia is often referred to as Salty. Fish. Salty. You have to admit, there's a bond there.

Fun Useless Fact: The Homecoming Queen in my senior year at Hell..er...Hull High was Eileen Saltalamacchia. And yes, she was the perfect choice.

2. Tacoby Bellsbury Goes Over To The Dark Side (Though They Don't Have Cookies..Just $153 Mil).
Come on, is anyone really surprised by this? Jacoby wanted his big payday and he's a client of Scott Boras. The Sox weren't going to give him what he wanted. He was a goner already. So, in steps the Yankees, whose roster is aging so badly that Depends are now standard equipment in the dugout, and they throw a 7 year $153 million dollar contract at him. Because, you see, the Yankees are the leaders in hideously ill-conceived contracts. Just ask A-Fraud. So let's improve their roster by bringing in an injury-prone 30 year old.

Look, I wish the guy well. He was a part of two of our World Series wins, and is a great lead off hitter and a great base stealer. When he's healthy. And therein lies his Achilles heel (any reports of a damaged Achilles tendon are just rumor). He has difficulty staying healthy, and his recoveries are notoriously slow. And I got news flash for ya, Sparky...the older you get, the longer you take to recover from injuries. Fact.

But I'm sure the Yankee fans will be their usual understanding selves.

And for what it's worth, if I get to a game next year, and by some miracle it's Sox vs Yanks, no, I won't boo him.

3. Say WHAT!?
But wait! The news today isn't just about who we lost...it's also about who we gained! We now have a new catcher! Salty wasn't interested in the two year deal the Sox offered him; he wanted at least three years. We didn't want to give him more because we have a couple of minor leaguers who will be ready soon. Okay, so all the Sox had to do was find a catcher for one year, perhaps a slight possibly of two. Someone whose temperament would fit in well with this team of loveable, personable, wacky guys!

And boy oh boy, did the front office find someone!

We got...

Wait for it...

This is gonna be good...

A.J. Pierzysnki!

Sox Win The World Series! Now Here's Some Random Thoughts...

It's fitting that today is Halloween, because last night the Boston Red Sox pulled the ultimate trick on major league baseball and gave us Fenway Faithful an awesome treat: going from one of the worst teams in 2012 to winning it all against the Cardinals.

Seriously, as much of an optimist, pie in the sky, we're down 5-0 bottom of the ninth but we can still win this, kind of Sox fan that I am, I did not see this coming, even as late as the start of the playoffs. Of course, once they made it to the World Series, I did call it: Sox in six!

A hearty congratulations and WOOOFRICKINHOOO! to the Red Sox and the entire fan base! What an amazing year with a spectacular ending!

So, since this blog has a sports-oriented name and I'm a die-hard Sox fan, naturally there needs to be a post that has something to do with the World Series. Here's a collection of thoughts that have been going through my brain today (thoughts other than "man, I shouldn't have had that champagne and stayed up so late last night").

• Big Papi deserved the World Series MVP, but I'd have been just as happy if Lester had won it, or even better, if they had co-MVPs.
• You do know that if Bobby Valentine was still manager, they'd have won the series in just three games, right? And all the while, he'd be serving the team sandwich wraps!
• The awesomeness of last night was further enhanced with the realization that we'll never have to subject ourselves to Tim McCarver's deranged biased ramblings ever again. And that's a win for all baseball fans, not just Boston's!
• Hey, Phillies! Thanks, for indirectly giving us the Flyin' Hawaiian!
• I think the people who said that Pedroia was too short to play baseball need to be called out, front and center, and let Red Sox Nation point and laugh at them.
• The 2013 Red Sox season could also be called "The Redemption of John Lackey".
• So. Where's the fried chicken and beer jokes now, eh?
• Big Papi in Cooperstown? Hell yes!
• I have no difficulty in believing that Terry Francona contacted John Farrell and congratulated him on doing the same thing that he himself did: bring the Sox a World Series win in the first year of being manager.
• Farrell wasn't perfect this year, but somehow I think he's received some impressive on the job training. And no one can deny that his gut feelings which he employed in putting together the Game 6 lineup were spot-on.
• Entry in the "Sox fans will always find something to bitch about even when they win" Department: the only way this could've been better is if Pesky had been around to see one last championship, and this was the year of Fenway's 100th anniversary, not 2012.
• The shrieks of ecstasy that you heard seemingly from nowhere were the sounds of Scott Boras anticipating a huge payday in the near future.
• Speaking of which, here's four free agents whose Sox futures are uncertain: Ellsbury, Saltalamacchia, Drew, and Napoli. My prediction: Ells is gone, Salty is gone, Napoli stays, and Drew can go either way.
• If Ells does indeed go, welcome to the Jackie Bradley Jr era. This is not a bad thing.
• I wonder what Beckett, Gonzalez, Crawford, and Youk are thinking today. And of all those guys, the one I feel the most sorry for is Youk. Yeah, granted, he was getting injured a lot, but let's face it, he was a direct casualty of the Clown Manager From Hell.
• Hey, remember the news story that broke during the 2007 World Series celebration? That badly-timed, self-serving news item? Something about some baseball player getting an obscenely huge long-term contract from the New York Stinkees? Remember how many people threw back their heads and howled, and rightly so, about how the timing of that news story was poorly executed, since the big baseball news story that deserved sole attention was the Sox winning the Series? Yeah, remember that? Where are the Yankees now, and how's that relationship with A-Rod working for them today? Ladies and gentlemen, Karma has come to call, and she's in a rare mood.
• Considering how many "The Official (insert product/service here) of the Boston Red Sox there are out there, are the Dropkick Murphys the Official Band of the Boston Red Sox? If not, they should be. If they are, then whooops, never mind...
• After reading about how hard Mike Napoli took the World Series loss when he was with Texas two years ago, I feel especially happy for him today.
• Since the victory parade traditionally has a duck boat for the team's support staff, and that Pedro, Tek, and Timmay worked for the organization in some capacity this year, does this mean we'll see them in the parade? I think it does! Hope so, anyway...
• Bringing in Fisk and El Tiante to throw the first pitch in Game 6 was a touch of brilliance. 
• I wonder what it's like to be Xander right now. You're 21 years old, you began the season in the minors, got called up to the majors in August, found yourself thrust onto the World Series roster, and now you're getting a ring.
• Speaking of Xander, I predict he's going to be with us for quite some time, and will become one of those beloved players, like Ortiz or Pedroia.
• If you're a fan of feel-good stories, especially in the "cast offs make good, win it all" genre, you have to love this 2013 Sox team. Whether it's veterans who've never been to the Series, veterans who've been to the Series but lost, or guys whose teams cut them loose because they supposedly had nothing left, there was a lot to root for here.
• Summing up the 2013 Red Sox: Characters with Character.
• After listening to John Henry's words upon receiving the World Series trophy, I really think the Red Sox IT department needs to install a new communications interface patch in his programming. I've seen Daleks be more articulate and emotive.
• Ben Charington, you rock, sir.
• The 2004 team was characterized as a pack of unlikely idiots. The 2007 team was just a scary good team of expert players up and down the lineup. The 2013 team is definitely more like 2004, don't you think?
• After seeing photos of the Sox both clean-shaven and with their beards, I come away with the conviction that, as a rule, men look way better without beards. Or said another way, it takes a very rare breed of man who can pull off a good beard look. Lord knows I tried back in the late 90's. I'm just about done writing apology notes to anyone who'd ever been around to see that travesty in person.
• Definitely on my Christmas list: World Series t-shirt, Red Sox Road Team jersey with Victorino's name on it.
• Okay, don't get me wrong here, but is it at all possible that we can continue to remember the marathon bombing and keep praying for and rooting for the victims and their families, and do whatever it takes to help in their continued recovery and make sure that nothing like this ever happens again, but also permanently retire "Boston Strong"? Please?

And now, the off-season begins. Whatever happens, it promises to be an interesting one. And through it all, we'll have the Red Sox victory to keep us warm through the winter.

Congratulations again to the Boston Red Sox!

Ex-Manager Bobby Valentine Claims Credit For Remarkable Red Sox 2013 Season

Former Sox manager Bobby Valentine addresses empty room.

After the abysmal 2012 season that showcased a dysfunctional Red Sox team led by "manager" and chronic verbal diarrhea sufferer Bobby Valentine, the best results that many of the Fenway Faithful expected out of Boston's 2013 team was that they simply not embarrass themselves or trip over the steps when emerging from the dugout. As of this writing, a stunned baseball world is witnessing the Boston Red Sox crowned as the AL Champions, finishing in a tie for the best record in baseball for 2013, and locked in a duel with the St. Louis Cardinals in the Fall Classic.

Even the most ardent Sox-hater has to grudgingly concede that this Boston team has, regardless of the World Series outcome, accomplished something special, a turnaround of positively epic proportions, one for the books. Many have tried to offer explanations for the resurgence, and on Thursday morning, another explanation came from a rather bizarre and yet regrettably not a wholly unexpected source.

"I am responsible for the Red Sox' fantastic performance this season!" proclaimed ex-manager Bobby Valentine. Taking the podium at a hastily arranged press conference, the erstwhile manager and professional blabbermouth regaled the empty room with his "logic".

"My 2012 tenure was a little less than successful," Valentine admitted in a rare display of acknowledging reality. "By the time winter hit, the guys, at least those that weren't traded away or ran away screaming, were humiliated and embarrassed. When Spring Training came around this year, they were exceptionally motivated to erase the memories of 2012."

  News Update:: These cats had more to do with the Sox
 successful season than Valentine did.

Valentine maintains that it was this degree of humiliation and almost fanatical desire to expunge 2012 that served as the catalyst for the Red Sox surprising success this year. "If I hadn't so completely and utterly screwed the bed as manager last year, they wouldn't have had that burning, itching need to prove themselves and salvage their dignity this year. And since one of the many tasks of a manager is to motivate his players, well, I leave you to do the math."

And, with a vacant, cow-like expression and dopey grin, he did just that, leaving the podium and wandering out the door, phone raised to his ear as he attempted to touch base with the Detroit Tigers' ownership, offering his services as manager. Screams could be heard on the other end of the line.

Some critics scoffed at Valentine's claims, noting that the words "Valentine" and "dignity" are mutually exclusive.

Valentine's bizarre assertions were further shot down in a statement released by John Henry, Red Sox principle owner, steel-driving man, and full-time android. "Bzzzt...Valentine does not compute ...whirrr..click...bzzzt...File not found!..bzzt..beep..Subject is delusional and possibly insane..approach with caution...bzzt. Ex-ter-min-ate!"

Sox Win The 2013 AL Pennant!

It takes a very special person with a very special mindset to be a true Red Sox fan. While I could ramble on about what doesn't make a true fan (some recent nasty fan comments, attitudes and behavior fresh in my mind), I'll instead point out one huge positive characteristic: an insane, stubborn optimism that the Olde Towne Team is going to rise to the occasion and prevail.

But not even in my wildest, craziest, reality-defying moments of optimism and wishful thinking did I think the Red Sox would win the American League pennant. Just..no. No way. And I'm a big fan.

When you consider that the best mental picture of the 2012 Red Sox would be a herd of several dozen irritated, underachieving cats being unsuccessfully herded by a deranged, grinning circus clown with a non-functioning internal editor button, the idea of them having a season where the best outcome could be for them not to embarrass themselves for two consecutive years was all any true fan could hope for.

One of my co-workers, a dyed in the wool superfan who leaves me in the dust, was so disgusted with 2012 that he said the Sox would be lucky to win 70 games this year. I disagreed, and said that they would a) finish above .500, b) make the playoffs via the Wild Card, and c) get eliminated in the American League Division Series.

After all, they finished with a 69-93 record in 2012. And in a "Well that bloody well figures" department, 2012 was Fenway's 100th anniversary, and beloved Red Sox veteran Johnny Pesky died in August. I mean, talk about a season where it would have been a really good idea to not bite the large one and become mass victims of the St. Bobby Valentine Day Massacre! Pesky passes away and his last impression of his beloved Red Sox is them doing a convincing impersonation of the Houston Astros.

And so, now look at the Sox. Booby (sic) was given his walking papers, where he would eventually go on to just making stupid statements in public and actually putting me in the uncomfortable position of sticking up for and sympathizing with the New York Yankees in the wake of Valentine's comments about 9-11. The underachieving players, the dead wood, the "I'm not comfortable on this team" people were traded away, and players were brought in who could really work together and brought a level of energy and joy to their playing.

Bringing in John Farrell was a stroke of genius. Sure, he was "only" the pitching coach for the Sox previously, but he knew the team, knew the division rivals, and had the respect of the Sox veterans still on the team. Not only that, pitching wins championships, and even though he wouldn't be returning as the pitching coach, you can't tell me that he didn't offer opinions and suggestions for the pitching staff.

But wow...seriously? American League champs? A rematch in the World Series with the Cardinals? UM..ok....yeah sure, I'll take it!

Yet as far as I'm concerned, this has already been an amazing season. It could end right now, and I'd call the 2013 Red Sox a raging success. This team is fun to watch, a joy to root for, and made up of genuinely likeable players. Being half-Portuguese, I have to root for Shane Victorino (of course, after his heroics in ALCS Game 6 that's easy to do!!); players like Mike Carp who were in essence salvaged from the scrap heap; young 21-year old gifted rookies like Xander; Big Papi with his "This is our #%^% city!" in the wake of the Marathon tragedy, as we all struggled to come to terms with the bombing and were eager to start the healing process. The high-five happy, hug-happy, Koji "Jonathan who!?" Uehara. Guys like Nava, Gomes, and of course the ever-colorful Pedey. I mean, come on...these guys have personality and character! Hell, they ARE characters!

Of course, every victory comes at a price: we're now stuck with Tim McCarver for at least four more games.

So, congratulations to my guys! Whether you win the Series or not, you're all winners already!

Oh, and...Sox in six. Just saying.

America Hails Renewed Hatred Between Red Sox And Yankee Fans: “The Healing Has Begun”

In the aftermath of the horrible bombing of the Boston Marathon on April 22^nd, the New York Yankees performed several classy gestures of solidarity, including signs supporting Boston and having the fans sing “Sweet Caroline,” the much-loved and heavily played song at Red Sox games. In the aftermath of the tragedy, New York reached out to the city of Boston, reinforcing that we’re all Americans and we stand united.

In the last few days, witnesses have verified that fans of both teams have resumed disparaging each other. These reports have brought sighs of relief and smiles to the faces of an America looking for signs that things are beginning to return to normal.

 “It means that healing has begun,” Suze Shaughnessy, 24, explained. “We can’t ever forget what happened on that terrible Monday, but seeing the fans of both teams at each other’s throats again is a good sign that we’re on the road to recovery!”

“What New York did was wicked classy,” Jimmy O’Malley, 21, of South Boston declared. “We’re like, brothers and stuff.”  O’Malley then paused a moment, narrowed his eyes, then suddenly roared “Yankees suck! Yankees suck!” as he staggered off to his liquid lunch at the local Irish bar.

“When crap like that goes down, we’re not New Yorkers or Bostonians no more,” added Tony “Bananas” Foster, 33, from The Bronx. “We’re Americans, and we got Boston’s back!” He started walking away from the interview, then suddenly turned around and gave a fist pump. “Twenty-seven rings, baby! Suck it, Red Sux!” he bellowed as he picked up his copy of the New York Post, the only reading material he’s capable of understanding.

“Hey, how’s that ten year contract with that chronically injured metrosexual centaur wannabe, A-Fraud, working out for ya, ya putrid pinstriped pricks!?”, chimed in Caroline Diamond, 39, of Brookline, Mass. “But hey, thanks for the support and shout-outs last week. We really appreciate it. You guys rock.”

“About as well as that 2012 season worked out for you, Slobby Valentine,  and that moldy old rat condo you call a ballpark,” retorted Maria “Fettuccini” Alfredo, 50, of Brooklyn. “Oh, and you’re welcome. We remember that you guys were there for us after 9/11, so it’s all good. We gotta stick together! You’re alright in our book!”

“Yeah? Who’s on top of the AL East, wiseass?” smirked Johnny “Pesky” Pole.  “I only hope we can do half as good of job bouncing back as you New Yorkers did after 9/11!”

“Typical Red Sox! Start out strong, but just can’t keep it going down the home stretch!” sneered Joe D. Maggio, a local coffee merchant. “Aw, you guys will be fine. You’re a city of badasses. And nice job taking down those terrorist asswipes so fast!”

In the wake of a public tragedy, many people struggle with the timing of when to move on. There’s a balancing act between taking extraordinary measures not to be inappropriate, disrespectful and insensitive, and wanting to move on and resuming normal everyday life.

Analysts and social commentators agree that the renewed mutual contempt of both fan bases is a sure sign that people are eager to return to their beloved routines.  “What matters now is that the guilty must be punished, and the victims must be helped in any way possible, like for instance giving to the One Fund of Boston,” noted Dr. Poindexter McSmartPerson, renowned sociologist and bacon enthusiast. 

At a White House press conference this morning, President Barack Obama himself hailed the resumption of hostilities. “The blind irrational hatred that Red Sox and Yankees fans have for each other, and the sheer contempt they feel for the other’s team, is an inspiration to all Americans who seek to recover from this tragedy,” the President declared. “We must not forget the tragic events of that Monday, and we must continue to seek justice while extending every means of care to the recovering victims and family members. But we draw strength and hope from the resumption of this obsessive, sometimes frightening bitter rivalry, and point to it as a sign that while the victims remain in our hearts, normalcy is returning.”

When asked about his beloved Chicago White Sox languishing at the bottom of the AL Central Division, President Obama gave a terse “no comment” and ended the press conference, muttering under his breath.

Fans of the Montreal Canadiens have also gone on record as saying that they too are returning to their normal loathing of Boston and the Bruins, but no one cares what they think or do anyway.